Letter to the Editor: Submitted by Kristen A. Wonderlich

To the Editor:
“Because that’s the way we do it here” In Bon Jovi’s song, “Who says you can’t go home?”, the lyrics reflect a wandering soul who worked hard to escape his small town and whose travels have led him far away from his home. He sings of the irony in realizing that the only road he now wants to take is the road home where everyone knows him and calls him “one of their own”.

I traveled that road home as I returned home to NE Iowa for nearly three months this summer. Although the reason for my return was not what I wished, there was a great blessing in being home. As I walked the familiar streets of my hometown seeing faces I’ve known all my life, I was greeted with smiles, hugs, and the occasional question, “You’re the Wonderlich girl who’s the opera singer, aren’t you?” I was welcomed back as if no time had passed since my leaving.

As my family faced the heartbreaking loss of our matriarch, this precious community covered us in love. Friends and neighbors cared for my mom in her last days on this earth... and they cared for us, too. For this wandering soul, it was balm for my pain. Thank you.

My mom’s siblings live in the bustling DFW metroplex that echoes my life in Charlotte, NC. Big city life can be exciting; there are many people to meet and many things to do and see. There is a part of that city life, in my opinion, that leaves you hollow and the connections you make just don’t seem as deep as the bonds I’ve experienced living in a small town. My aunt kept asking questions about why we were making certain preparations for my mom’s funeral services. I found myself responding to her questions repeatedly with the simple answer, “Because that’s the way we do it here.”

As our family gathered for the visitation and funeral services, my mom’s siblings were especially in shock seeing the outpouring of love from our little community. My aunt who had questioned some of the things we planned pulled me aside and said, “I get it now.” Because that’s the way we do it here.

Her siblings met together at a local Waukon establishment shortly after the funeral. And, as they shared their grief by telling stories and playing music in the jukebox, several community members stopped by their table and asked who they were. My uncle told me later that every single person who stopped to speak to them knew my mom and that there was such a sweet comfort in that. That human connection that runs so deep in our community. I thought to myself, “Because that’s the way we do it here.”

My mom was an unlikely NE Iowa resident. Musing on the many unlikely steps in her life that led her here, her brother said simply, “And she had the best life of all five of us.” She loved her life here and her community.

Thank you for allowing me to see the way you loved her, and the people she loved most in this world, back. I may continue to wander, but I always know what place claims me, and what place knows me, and loves me. I am grateful and wouldn’t want it any other way. Because that’s the way we do it here.

There isn’t one of these lines that I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road
With every step I take, I know that I’m not alone
You take the home from the boy
But not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I’ve ever known
Who says you can’t go home?
-Bon Jovi

With love and appreciation,
Kristen A. Wonderlich
Rock Hill, SC