Word for Word

by Rev. Kevin Smith

Today I was playing a game with my four year old grandson and he was upset because he couldn’t score any points with the yard dart game. The temptation to bend the rules and make it so that he scored without working for it was easily pushed aside for the teaching moment that led him to grow in perseverance and self-confidence. It took a lot of tries but eventually he was able to score. The smile on his face and his shout of joy made me glad we didn’t give in to his throwing a fit when he couldn’t do it perfect the first few tries.
He never did hit a perfect score but the few points he made were more valuable than any number of “give-me” points we might have awarded him. I wonder how many children have missed out on such important life lessons because parents or grandparents try too hard to keep children from failing at anything. I find it tempting myself to either make things too easy or to give credit for halfhearted attempts, all because I want to keep my grandson happy. Fortunately my parents instilled in me the idea that anything worth having is worth working for, even if it is scoring points in a game in the back yard.
During some of my studies in counseling it has been noted that children who can deal with small disappointments in a good manner will grow to become adults who adjust better to life’s trials and tribulations. It is even suggested that those who have struggled with some failure as well as achieving through hard work can adjust more quickly to traumatic events in their adult lives. This is not to say they are not affected, but they are more resilient so they adjust more easily than adults who did not experience some childhood disappointment or who were given everything with little effort on their part.
The point of all this is to help answer the question, “Why does a loving God allow things to happen to us?” First of all, as Paul writes in his letter to the Romans, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5 NIV) God intends for the small disappointments to help us to grow and mature so that we can withstand bigger trials we will surely encounter in this life.
I can’t think of any parent that doesn’t want to prepare their child to be successful and that is what we do when we balance achievement with work and lightly season it with some disappointment. Isn’t that what we all experience as adults?
Along with preparing us for the trials of this life it is important for us to understand that our loving God allows trials and tribulations in this life because this life is not the ultimate goal for us. Instead we are to live this life in sure and certain hope of eternal life. A life in which we will have no more trials or tribulations. An eternity in which we will be in God’s full presence and one that will make everything in this life pale in comparison.
Until we meet in God’s presence let us continue to prepare our children for success in this life by training them up in the way they should go so that they will not depart from it all the days of their lives.