SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS THROUGH MENTORING PROGRAM

Each of us needs a positive role model in our life - someone to whom we can look to for guidance and by whom we can gauge our lifelong goals. Not necessarily a person whom we wish to be a replicate, but rather someone who can guide us to success by sharing their own positive experiences and lessons learned, achievements and disappointments, and simply time and attention.
It is through the Mentoring Mania program that many children in and around Allamakee County meet this special person.
Similar to programs implemented in both Winneshiek and Howard counties, Mentoring Mania was developed in 1998 through an intensive process of planning - policy, goal and mission development under the direction of Kathy Schwartzhoff of Helping Services of Northeast Iowa. Additional leadership for the program was offered by representatives of the county's school systems, social service agencies, churches, businesses and civil organizations.
Initially, Mentoring Mania's mission was co-funded through McElroy Trust and Department of Human Services Safe & Stable grants, awarded to Helping Services of Northeast Iowa. Today, it is fully funded via the latter source.
In December 1998, then, upon completion of the year-long coordination process, Diane Engen, also of Helping Services, was hired as Mentoring Mania's "match maker" in a sense, as well as its coordinator in all other respects. In January 1999 the program was officially initiated, with the first match made some four months later.
For those unfamiliar with the Mentoring Mania program, it is an initiative in which youths (mentees) are paired with adults (mentors) for the purpose of fostering healthy relationships in which the mentor can act as a role model and friend to another.
Matches, according to Engen, are for a one-year trial period and may continue, if both parties so choose, beyond that time. Volunteer mentors meet with their partners, one on one, at least once per month for a total of three to five hours. They are also encouraged to maintain weekly contact with their mentees via phone, e-mail or handwritten letters.
"Typically, it may take several months for mentors and mentees to develop a close relationship or bond," says Engen. "and research shows it takes at least one year to see the difference the relationship makes in a young person's life."
According to Engen, many of the youths involved as mentees have been disappointed by adults in their lives and may test their mentors initially. Trust is essential to developing a strong relationship.
She adds, "For this reason, we ask that pairs remain together throughout the first year. Beyond that time, they may decide to stay together, or switch."
The process by which matches are made, according to Engen, is very thorough. Mentors, who must be age 18 or older, fill out an application describing their background and interests. They must then consent to a series of criminal record, child abuse and driving record checks. Those chosen to become mentors must attend an initial training course in which the ground rules of the program are set forth, as well as a clear explanation of the mentors' roles in the lives of their young companions.
Mentees, on the other hand, must be five to sixteen years of age. They, too, must complete an application citing their interests, as well as characteristics they seek in a mentor. This enables an increased potential for a successful match based upon common interests.
"Typically, mentees are referred to the program by a friend or relative," says Engen. "Many come from single parent or low-income families, or from homes in which both parents work and available time for children may be limited." She adds, "Others become a part of the program simply for the companionship or to develop new relationships - to meet a new person with different characteristics than other positive role models in their lives."
Engen also points out the need for male volunteer mentors. Typically, matches are established based on similar genders. The lack of male mentors, according to Engen, has left many male youths without a match.
"In addition to the typical youth-adult matches, we have also successfully been able to pair junior high and high school students." She adds, "We've had good luck with these matches as mentors and mentees can discuss dating issues, as well goals for the future. Youths are often most comfortable speaking with others close in age."
Engen assures that high school mentors are those involved in employment or sports, who plan to attend college and, overall, young adults with admirable goals and aspirations.
Parents' rules, added Engen, must be abided by at all times.
For those pairs that wish to periodically participate in group events, Engen plans monthly get-togethers, typically characterized by bowling, roller skating or field trips to recreational or tourism sites, such as riding stables or Luther College's planetarium. Mentoring pairs are also encouraged to participate as a group in community events.
"The program offers youths an opportunity to be introduced to different settings. Mentees enjoy the time away and gain a greater sense of self-esteem in knowing that another adult wants to spend time with them. Often times, communication with parents and siblings is positively affected," says Engen.
For more information on the Mentoring Mania program, contact Diane Engen the second and fourth Wednesdays of each month at the Community Connections office; (319) 568-4013. Engen is available from 8:30 a.m. until noon.

Mike and Mike
Mike Snitker of Waukon has been paired with his Mentoring Mania mentee companion, also named Mike, for approximately one year.
"After a long bout with multiple sclerosis, and eventual recovery, I found that I had both time and energy, and wanted to do something productive with it," says Snitker in explaining his interest in the program. "This really fit the bill."
Snitker is the father of two children, Michelle, age 21, and Melissa, age 17. Factor in Snitker's wife, Julie, and the fact that he grew up in a household with eight active sisters, and its easy to see that Snitker has lived a good many years as the minority among females.
"All my life I've been around girls, and now, want the chance to spend some time with a young lad," says Snitker. "It's been a new experience for me - different, enjoyable."
The two are usually accompanied on their outings by man's best friend and Snitker's close companion, Bear. Though young Mike has, too, developed a relationship with the faithful pet, Bear, according to his owner, has had some issues with giving up the passenger seat in the truck. "It's really nothing new, though," says Snitker. "He's the same way with my wife."
Though Snitker says he regrets not being able to spend more time with his mentee as he's been busy with part-time work at Dean's Plumbing and Heating, as well as ministering, he and his third-grade partner have enjoyed an occasional afternoon of ice fishing or talking over hot chocolate. And as warmer weather has arisen, the two may soon find themselves trying to achieve another year of eight-foot tomatoes, one of Snitker's favored pastimes, or engaging in a friendly game of flag football, a sport young Mike has taken interest in.
Though the two typically keep to themselves, Snitker says, "We have enjoyed pizza parties and other get-togethers as part of the program."
Young Mike says he was referred to the program by his mother. "She works late and wanted to get someone to help with my sister and I - to spend time with us while she rests," explains the mentee. "It's fun because I get to do more stuff with somebody." The youth adds that he hopes to, one day, have a mentee of his own.

Nona and Lois
This Mentoring Mania pair of one year, shown above as they indulge in a bowl of homemade ice cream, has been an active team. And according to Nona, a shared conversation over this frozen treat has actually become a mutual pastime for the two.
"The very first thing we ever did together was visit the park in Postville. Afterwards, we went for ice cream," remembers Nona Sawyer, mentor. "Now we have this ice cream thing going, and if I forget, Lois reminds me."
Though the partners have taken in many of the sites and entertainment this area has to offer - movies, summer swimming, children's museums, shopping and parades - Nona says her mentee likes to visit her mentor's home as well as anything - naturally, as Nona has young granddaughters, one in particular nearly the same age as Lois, who has left behind toys for Lois to play with.
Though Haley, Nona's granddaughter, lives near St. Louis, MO, she and Lois have met and enjoy each other's company, as well as similar interests. "I bought a picture frame with spaces for three separate photos. I filled two of them with photos of Haley, age eight, and her younger sister Hannah, age four." Nona says she asked Haley who should fill the third small frame, expecting her to name one of Nona's cats, specifically Lizzie. Her response: "Lois, of course." The young girl also sent home with her grandmother a Barbie doll for Lois to play with - to borrow until they meet again.
In sharing some of their most memorable experiences, Nona recalled this past Christmas. She had encouraged Lois to save her money and promised to match whatever the young girl managed to earn as the two would embark on a Christmas shopping spree. When the day came, however, temperatures were well below zero. Nona, though hesitant of the weather, did not feel she could break her promise. With a reliable vehicle, cellular phone and basic survival kit packed by her husband, Wayne, the two set out for Wal-Mart in nearby Decorah, only a few miles from Lois' Frankville home. "As prepared as we were, we could have gone to the Arctic," laughs Nona as she remembers the cold-weather adventure.
And with Lois' small savings and Nona's matching gift, the young girl was able to buy a meaningful gift for each person close in her life. Then, under the light of a nearby street lamp, while awaiting in Nona's vehicle the Saturday afternoon showing of "Toy Story II," the Christmas presents were wrapped.
According to Nona, she and Lois try to plan an outing each week, although it is not always possible. When they cannot be together, they keep contact through postcards, talks on the phone, letters and holiday cards.
Of her experiences as a youth mentor, Nona says, "It a commitment. I just can't imagine, after one year, ever saying good-bye. To me, its a lifelong relationship." Nona, a teacher for 31 years prior to her retirement, says she was disappointed at first not to have been paired with a local child. "I taught here, and would have known the students here." But today, she says being paired with Lois may have been the best possible match, despite the 25-minute drive. "It's nice to be removed, and I've had an opportunity to get to know Lois, her mother and grandmother."
Lois' older brother, Chas., age nine, awaits a match with a male mentor and often asks to accompany Lois and Nona on their excursions. Unfortunately, with the program's one-on-one focus, this is not possible. "It's been harder for program coordinators to place young boys with mentors, simply due to a lack of male volunteers. It's unfortunate," says Nona.
Nona, who also volunteers as a companion in other similar programs, says she was first introduced to Mentoring Mania through a church bulletin. Fortunately, her match with Lois has been a successful one. "When I call to make plans to get together, I can usually here Lois asking in the background, 'Is that Nona?', anxious to talk to me." She adds, "Lois' mother, in signing her up for the program, wanted her daughter to be exposed to outside activities that she wasn't able to provide.
"I enjoy working with Lois on reading and homework; I guess it's the teacher in me. Lois, on the other hand, prefers social activities - she likes to play with Barbies, color and go to movies," Nona adds.
Overall, Nona sees the importance of the program and adheres to a philosophy that success breeds success in children. "I get a lot of satisfaction in helping people. When I was teaching, I didn't have time to do all this. It's also been enjoyable working with someone as young as Lois, especially since my grandchildren do not live near here."
Lois, too, has been happy with her match. "I would like to do this for a long time," she states in her quiet, shy voice.